Couples Therapy and Abuse Don't Mix. I Learned This the Hard Way.

I thought couples counseling might help me save my marriage. It actually put me in more danger. Learn from my mistakes.

Toward the end of my marriage, I agreed to see a Christian counselor with my husband. I didn’t think it was a good idea, and it turns out I was right — Domestic violence experts agree couple’s therapy is NOT appropriate for partners in abusive relationships. Even so, I wanted to do any and everything I could to save the marriage - and I was hopeful the counselor would help me convince my husband his abuse was a problem that needed to be addressed.

To this day, I still can’t believe what happened, particularly during the last session I attended, and I think my story is an important cautionary tale for anyone feeling pressured to sign up for couple’s therapy with an abusive partner — because this particular counselor ended up putting me in more danger than I was in before I agreed to see her.